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Hoping for a Second Chance
Read Article in Northern Michigan Woman Magazine
I’m sure you’ve heard the statistics: one in four women and one in seven men will be the survivors of domestic violence. That means one in four moms, one in seven dads, one in four women business owners, one in seven men business owners, one in four of your women coworkers and one in seven of your men coworkers.
I am the one in those statistics.
My relationship started out very intense. He was doting and would shower me with gifts. He would surprise me wherever I was and I thought, “Oh man, this guy really loves me! He wants to be everywhere that I am.”
I thought that that was a sign of his love when it was a sign of control. When you’re in love, those lines are very blurred. That’s how it starts.
It inevitably trickled into a more controlling dynamic. I was no longer allowed to drive anywhere. I wasn’t allowed to leave the house. I wasn’t allowed to work. It became verbal and physical abuse. It became financial and religious abuse.
Then, there were some explosions that were pretty hostile. I had to call the police a couple of times, each time not receiving the help or support I needed. I’m sure they see it all the time, so they think it’s just dramatized or exaggerated.
I was isolated from my family. I felt like I had no one. My friends weren’t welcome, so they never came around. And then it started getting more physical and aggressive. I grabbed my hidden credit card and cell phone, googled domestic violence shelters in the area and I left. Luckily, my mom let me stay with her and the next day, I went to a domestic violence agency.
They were amazing and welcomed me with open arms. They made sure that they advocated for my decisions, not necessarily decisions that they wanted to push on me. They also educated me on all of the different ways that I was being controlled and abused that I didn’t really see.
The agency connected me with the financing and funding to get my own apartment for six months so that I could move out on my own, which I had to do secretly when he was at work. And so I did that, got an apartment and went back to college to pursue my master’s degree in counseling after having completed my bachelor’s degree in psychology.
I had a professor in college who was an insurance agent at New York Life and needed a recruiter. I needed a job, so I took it and that is how I fell into recruiting.
The role turned into a recruiting position where I spearheaded the program and called the shots on decision making with the many different avenues to attract talent. I really cut my teeth on recruiting hard-to-fill positions.
I was using my psychology degree every day interviewing people and helping them figure out what their next step was in their career and what they actually wanted out of life. I loved recruiting and decided to pursue it full-time.
With a background in corporate, sales, and executive recruiting, I felt like I could do it better, that I could open a firm that actually advocated for its candidates and clients that we met everyday.
I also had this idea of partnering with the non-profit domestic violence agency that changed my life several years prior, to create a mission-driven business that had a mission and drive for philanthropy, and Hire For Hope was born.
The “hope” part of Hire For Hope is that we give 10 percent of our profit to non-profit organizations that support women who are experiencing domestic violence. My hope is that these contributions help women who are going through abusive relationships similar to what I went through, and ultimately get the second chance they deserve.
That’s how I came up with the concept of Hire For Hope, and I went for it. I was a one-woman-show for about a year until I hired my first employee. Now we have several employees and the business is booming.
I’ve always been interested to get deeper than just the surface level as to what the motivating factors in life are for the people we work with. We spend so much time at work that it’s really important to realize and recognize your behavioral factors in the workplace and how those create motivating needs. By being aware of peoples’ behavioral drives, we can predict the needs that motivate them. For this reason, Hire For Hope opened the talent optimization consulting division. It ended up complementing our recruiting division very well.
My goal is to continue growing the company, to continue helping to fund a non-profit organization that changed my life, to continue to find the best candidates for our clients and to help our clients maintain a highly-engaged workforce so they can focus on doing their important work in this world. I’ve grown my dream from a one-woman team to a team of ten, and am planning on another year of growth for Hire for Hope. I’m grateful for the opportunity to turn my life around, and hope that I can help other women in similar situations do the same.
My First 5 Years of Building a Business
Most entrepreneurs learn a lot in the first five years of running a business. Between business operations, leadership, sales, marketing - you name it - there is certainly a lot to digest while starting and running a business.
I started my company, Hire For Hope, an executive recruiting and talent consulting firm, as a one-woman show and was very content in doing so. I was excited about the freedom and flexibility it would provide me. My aspirations were originally to stay small and nimble. But, there came a point in my journey where my mindset started to shift. The flexibility was nice, especially since I could do my work from anywhere, but I started having desires to grow my business even more and add employees to my team.
The crossroads in a small business between being a one-person show and adding staff is a pivotal moment in the business’ evolution. Adding staff changes the entire game!
I started small by adding one employee so I could start creating the company culture of my dreams. I also was motivated to scale the philanthropic mission side of my business. I started my company with the mission to give ten percent of the business’ profit back to the community, specifically to a domestic violence agency that played a big role in my life in the past. By scaling my business, I knew I’d be able to make a greater impact in the community. My recruiting firm now has ten employees and is continuing to expand.
Along the journey over the past five years, it has not always been smooth sailing. There are many hurdles and barriers I’ve faced along the way. I have learned many lessons that have taught me how to manage stress, be resilient, and never give up.
Here are the top five lessons I’ve learned in my first five years of building a business:
Stress Management
As an entrepreneur, my motor is always going. I find myself having dozens of thoughts and ideas at once. Can you resonate? Managing stress has been a big learning curve for me. Learning to slow down to prioritize self-care and family time has been key. To do so, I track and log the things I do to manage stress on my business calendar. I color code my entire calendar, and personal or self-care items are in pink. If I look at any given week and I don’t see enough pink on my calendar, I know my overall health and wellness may take a toll. It’s also fun to look back at all the wellness time I’ve logged from the previous calendar year, which instills confidence that I’m fostering work/life balance. Prioritizing “self” time is key to combating stress.
Tenacity
Having been through many adversities in life, as many of us have, I’ve learned how to bounce back from failure very quickly. When something within the business isn’t working, I’m not afraid to change it and pivot to a new direction. It helps us stay nimble as a team and make quick decisions to move forward fast.
I’ve learned to take responsibility for my mistakes and take time to assess and reflect on what went wrong or what I could have done differently. Even in the face of adversity, it’s important to remain positive. A positive attitude and focusing on things within my control are essential for bouncing back quickly.
Leadership
Leadership has been a muscle I’ve certainly had to flex, stretch, and grow over time. As a new leader, when I hired my very first employee, I wasn’t well-versed in how to manage employees or make sure they were set up for success. It was definitely an experience where I learned on the job and challenged myself to get better and better. I read leadership books, listened to podcasts, learned from others in my network and incorporated a behavioral analysis tool so I could predict what motivates each of my employees. By using a behavioral tool, I have real data on how each of my employees are wired in order to best coach each of them based on their individual motivations and natural behavior styles. We use the same tool to help our clients motivate their teams.
Client Mindset
My business cannot be successful without providing value to our clients. We pride ourselves on white-glove service. I strive to be empathetic and understanding of the needs of my clients and take the time to listen to their concerns and needs. I make sure to ask questions to get a better understanding of their goals because in order to be valuable to our clients, we need to be working with them toward their objectives. Vulnerability is also key. I am open to feedback and am willing to make necessary changes to ensure the best results.
Growth Mindset
Having a growth mindset is an attitude that focuses on learning and improvement. One of Hire For Hope’s core values is “Curiosity” — encouraging each team member to never stop learning something new.
A growth mindset encourages a person to think outside the box, and it helps them to stay resilient in the face of failure. Believe in yourself. Have faith in yourself and your abilities, and don’t be afraid to take risks. Believe that you can achieve whatever you set your mind to. Have a long-term vision. Don’t get caught up in short-term successes.
Heading into my sixth year of business, this growth mindset has led me to identify a need for a total rebrand of my business. Who we are today isn’t who we were five years ago, and it’s time our brand reflects that. We’re relaunching this spring with a new name, logo and colors, and I’m looking forward to announcing a brand that truly reflects the growth we’ve experienced and the kind of organization we are today.